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July 7, 2008
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Here's Part II of our Independence Day list.
The Top 16 Ways Modern-Day Americans
Can Declare Their Independence From England
(Part II)
- "We've secretly replaced the current heir to the throne with Minneapolis's Prince. Let's watch!"
- "Sorry, ma'am, but you'll have to return to England. We have no record of a U.S. passport for a 'Madonna.'"
- [We would say something funny about cricket here, if we knew what the heck it was.]
- From now on, putting sidespin on a cue ball is called "Norwegian."
- Take their Prime Minister and make him the lap dog of our president... well, we can go ahead and put a check mark by that one.
- "Sorry, honey, but if we see that Hugh Grant movie, the British win."
- Use our Bradford Exchange Charles and Diana Royal Wedding plates for target practice.
- Convince Dame Judi Dench to appear in the next "American Pie" sequel.
- Keep picking the ball up with our hands.
- English muffins? Bah! They're Freedom muffins now, Nigel!
- Tell that idiot King George straight to his face not to take us for granted or we'll break free and... Wait, that's England's independence from America.
- In a public place, loudly announce that we will no longer eat Spotted Dick.
- Finally off that insufferable contrarian Oxford-educated fifth Trident dentist.
- Celebrate America's genius for original television programming with a marathon viewing of Steve Carrell in "The Office."
- Throw Ice-T and Mr. T into Boston Harbor.
and the Number 1 Way Modern-Day Americans Can Declare Their Independence From England...
- Two well-placed bullets not only send a message the British Invasion is over, they make possible a Beatles reunion.
Our ClubTop5 members get to see the
Runner Up and Honorable Mention items
for today's list, plus much MUCH more.
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Selected from 150 submissions from 54 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Randy Lee, Burke, VA -- 1 (3rd #1)
- Richard Skora, Columbus, OH -- 2, 5, 10 (Hat trick!)
- David Kass, Queens, NY -- 2 Hall of Famer
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 3 Website / Hall of Famer
- Adela Branson, Soda Springs, ID -- 4
- Mitch Patterson, Atlanta, GA -- 5
- Michael Sheinbaum, Guilford, CT -- 6 Website
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 7, Banner Tag
- Art Kinderbuch, Alexandria, VA -- 8
- Tom Stoudt, Fort Washington, PA -- 9 Hall of Famer
- Curtis Stoddard, Cedar Hills, UT -- 11
- Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY -- 11
- L. A. Bettencourtt, Macon, GA -- 12
- Bruce W. Alter, Fairfax Station, VA -- 13
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 13 Hall of Famer
- David Zechiel, Lake Forest, CA -- 13
- Michael Whitmire, Houston, TX -- 14
- John J. Brassil, Nashville, TN -- 15
- Terry Ramsdell, Ann Arbor, MI -- 15
- Meg Silvern, Tucson, AZ -- 15
- Cristina Vida, Baltimore, MD -- 15
- Donald Junter, New Haven, CT -- 16
- Matt Kall, Solon, OH -- 16
- Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA -- Topic
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Melanie Chisholm, Liverpool, England -- Ambience (explanation)
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