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Win tickets to the 2007 Summer X Games!
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August 12, 2008
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
We're currently doing Fiver Month, during
which each day's list will be compiled by one
of the moderators of our Little Fiver lists.
Today's MC is Top5 Sex's Tristan Fabriani, who
for two entire days at age 17 held down a job
making green-apple-scented candles in Houston.
To this day he freaks out and quits his current
job at the slightest smell of green-apple scent.
Subscribe to Top5 Sex here:
Subscribe to Top5 Sex today!
The Top 17 Things You Can Learn
About Sex by Watching the Olympics
- Post-sex cuddling is like soccer: It's hugely popular in other parts of the world, but guys in the U.S. simply don't give a shit.
- It is critical that one verifies the sex of the participants before the start of the event.
- The pole vaulter sprints to the pit, sticks the pole, reaches climax, collapses onto the matt and leaves -- all in under 10 seconds. And he might even be awarded a medal. So stop your whining, already, woman!
- Nobody remembers who came second.
- Just like in wrestling: Slam a guy to the floor and pin him for a few seconds, and *boom* it's pretty much over.
- The person finishing in the fastest time gets to high-tail it off to Disneyland! WOO-HOO!!
- A sandy, sweaty, girl-on-girl ass smack can be more effective than Viagra.
- Be careful! If your ladyfriend bends too far backward while she's on top, she could get flung up and over a 19-foot-high bar by the spring-back of your junk.
- Whatever you do, don't want to lose fluids too early.
- Like sex, there's a lot more to water polo than simply thrashing around and slamming your balls between the uprights.
- Getting laid is like the biathlon -- your scoring chances are greater if you carry a weapon.
- No matter how hard you try, synchronizing is a bitch.
- "Doing it doggie style" means something entirely different at Beijing restaurants.
- You prepare for it your whole life, but the moment is over in mere seconds.
- Shaving reduces friction.
- Compliment a female weight lifter on her snatch at your own risk.
and the Number 1 Thing You Can Learn About Sex by Watching the Olympics...
- Watching the experts and following along by yourself at home is often more gratifying than actually participating.
Our ClubTop5 members get to see the
Runner Up and Honorable Mention items
for today's list, plus much MUCH more.
Join today!
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Selected from 104 submissions from 39 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Randy Lee, Burke, VA -- 1 (4th #1)
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 2 Website / Hall of Famer
- Tom Stoudt, Fort Washington, PA -- 3 Hall of Famer
- Curtis Stoddard, Cedar Hills, UT -- 4
- Dave Goudsward, Lake Worth, FL -- 5, 7
- Kevin Freels, Walnut Creek, CA -- 6 Website / Hall of Famer
- Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- 8, 12 Website / Hall of Famer
- Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY -- 9, 16
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- 10 Website / Hall of Famer
- Doug Finney, Houston, TX -- 11
- Lori Petterson, Fairfax, VA -- 13
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 14 Hall of Famer
- Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- 15 Hall of Famer
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 17, Topic
- Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA -- Banner Tag
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- DJ Rectangle, Los Angeles, CA -- Ambience (explanation)
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© Copyright 1994-2008. All rights reserved.
TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
Absolutely no publishing or reprinting without prior consent.
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