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July 10, 2008
The Top 15 Good Things About Summer School
- None of those "C" and "D" students around to make you feel stupid.
- No "fat camp" this year!
- After nine months of socializing, skateboarding, bong-smoking, pranking, sleeping, stealing, vandalizing and having unprotected sex in the janitor's closet, you're quite ready for a break!
- Considerably less chance of shark attack compared to those unlucky kids at the beach.
- Helps keep you on track to graduate in seven years.
- Gets the kids out of the house so you can Wii bowl alone.
- Mrs. LeTourneau in a sundress.
- The extended hours, air conditioning, and transportation costs provide a convenient object lesson in energy conservation.
- It's *much* easier on the ol' back door, now that you're too old for juvie.
- Even the Goth kids have a healthy glow.
- Miss Harper demonstrates the difference between Brazil and a Brazilian.
- Can avoid a few years' worth of future therapy by missing Camp Shurtobeshunned.
- The dumb girls' trampy clothing gets exponentially trampier.
- You get a nice breeze from all the moving lips in the remedial reading class.
and the Number 1 Good Thing About Summer School...
- Golden opportunity to bond with your future cell mates.
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Selected from 90 submissions from 32 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Allan Rousselle, Redmond, WA -- 1 (7th #1)
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 2, 9 Hall of Famer
- Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 3
- Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY -- 3
- Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX -- 4
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 5 Hall of Famer
- Richard Skora, Columbus, OH -- 6
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- 7 Website / Hall of Famer
- Michael Sheinbaum, Guilford, CT -- 8 Website
- Andy Krakowski, Alexandria, VA -- 9, 11
- Dave Goudsward, Lake Worth, FL -- 9, 12
- Russ Beland, Springfield, VA -- 10
- Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- 13 Website / Hall of Famer
- Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA -- 14, Banner Tag
- Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL -- 15
- Caryn Kennealy, Glendale, CA -- Topic
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Ee, San Francisco, CA -- Ambience (explanation)
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