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June 11, 2008
The Top 16 Dangers of Electric Cars
- Turning on the headlights drops the top speed to 15 MPH.
- Inflated sense of self-righteousness may cause air bags to randomly deploy.
- Jetsons' car: Cool sound effect. Your electric car: Sounds like Dad's 1958 Norelco.
- Go over 60 for even one minute and you have to pull over so the car can use its asthma inhaler.
- "Roadside assistance" involves a kite and waiting for a thunderstorm.
- Now your wife can apply makeup, talk on the phone AND blow dry her hair while toasting a bagel in rush hour traffic.
- Condom-less backseat sex leave you not only unprotected but also ungrounded.
- The electromagnetic pulse from any nearby nuclear detonation may cause stalling.
- Increased odds of getting carjacked by Ed Begley, Jr.
- It's a Molotov cocktail on wheels after you try filling it up on the way home from the bar.
- If you're hit by lightning, the car accelerates to the speed of light.
- Go over 60 mph, and Reddy Kilowatt shows up to kick your ass.
- Finding a dead battery in the morning because your wife left her vibrator plugged into the cigarette lighter all night.
- Can't drive it in the bath tub.
- Your old gas costs were nothing compared to what you're now spending on extension cords.
and the Number 1 Danger of Electric Cars...
- Buying one gets you kicked out of the Republican Party.
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Selected from 120 submissions from 44 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY -- 1, 16 (10th #1)
- Bob Mader, Knoxville, TN -- 2, 11
- Brad Hamer, Austin, TX -- 2
- Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX -- 2
- Adela Branson, Soda Springs, ID -- 2
- David Kass, Queens, NY -- 3 Hall of Famer
- Matt Moore, Fresno, CA -- 3
- Kevin Wickart, Normal, IL -- 4, 8 Website
- Emily Limbach, Boulder, CO -- 4
- Glenn Marcus, Washington, DC -- 4
- Reid Kerr, Tyler, TX -- 5 Website
- Rex Meredith, Palm Springs, CA -- 6
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 6 Hall of Famer
- Doug Finney, Houston, TX -- 7
- Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL -- 9
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 9 Hall of Famer
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- 10 Website / Hall of Famer
- Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia -- 12
- Dave Goudsward, Lake Worth, FL -- 12
- Barbara McMullen, Ann Arbor, MI -- 12
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 13
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 14 Hall of Famer
- Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA -- 15
- Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC -- 16 Website
- Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA -- Banner Tag
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Sun Volt, Belleville, IL -- Ambience (explanation)
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